back on the horse gig14

After the disaster ofthe Preston frog and bucket gong show i was thinking about giving up the ideaof doing gongs but i was invited to participate in the Manchester version and ihad the opportunity of car sharing with J.Dunn whom which was making only his 2^ndappearance on a comedy stage.

For me it would be my14^th and the self doubt still existed in my mind. I drove to York topick James up as i was free all day and we set off at about 5.45 across thePennines. The car journey was filled with talk about how we wrote our sets andwhere the influences came from. James had put a lot more creativity into hisset writing than i have giving him plenty or material to test whereas i haveonly a few bits giving me a total of 10 mins realistically, my edge over himcoming from having done 12 more gigs than he has so o know what bits deffo dowork. This would not be an issue for James in 4 or 5 gigs time i would guess.

We arrived inManchester just in time for the 7.30 sign in, only Rob Wagstaff was there whenwe 1^st arrived, he was the guy who i met in Preston and had wonthere, i had mentioned that he had used some jokes that were not his own (i’dheard a few of them before) but he won not on material alone but on personalitytoo, it is not that i disliked him that i felt it frustrating he won but morethat on that occasion i thought Nick Clarke with his own material deserved towin (nick is now back to having all fingers btw) but there are a lot of actsusing jokes i have heard before and i wonder if any of mine have been writtenby other comics too and i just have not been aware of thus yet... i hope not i don’thave many good ones!!

Fair play to Rob tho,he had written his own set so someone must have mentioned to him its worth moreto do so (and he is naturally casual and funny i’d say)

A couple more actsarrived, Jennifer Farrell and James Oakley who had his girlfriend with him....good efforts on pulling a stunner James!!!

There was a lot ofchatting about similar stuff that i often hear at comedy shows now, who’s yourfave comedian what’s your inspiration ect ect, i kinda zoned out of this nottrying to be rude but given that the last gong show i did went terrible iwanted to recite my set in my head a few times to be sure i could do it.

And so an hour passedand the show was to begin, the MC was Alex Boardman who i had seen at one ofSilkys gigs before i got into stand up and really enjoyed, former winner EddieO Dwyer was the 1^st 8 min spot and the 2^nd one wasanother act i had seen before when as a guest and really enjoyed him being CarlHutchinson. They both did their 8 mins and i could not tell you much abouteither set as again i had zoned out. I was no longer nervous, i almost didn’t careabout the gong, i just had to get my set right and be true to what i was... iknow i am not a ground breaking newbie with bags of originality, so accept whati am and enjoy being on stage was my mindset.

The gong began wellwith a 1^st timer called Rikki Burke getting through, he was clearlynervous and raced through his set a little quickly as a result but he easeddown a little midway through, ironically a card going up is what seemed torelax him and he got some laughs after that surviving the 5.

Jennifer was next, shewas not able to connect with what was still a very cold audience, she asked ifanyone likes curries..... no reply, they were not playing ball and it wasevident as she became the 1^st gong victim.

Steven Bugeja camenext, i had seen him at Mr Bens as an 8 spot so he must have won there before,he would be fairly decent then? He was. His material was self depreciating andsoft and cuddly i’d say, but more importantly it was very funny too, i liked himand turned to James to say... i think we have a winner, James was not so sureyet.

Rob went next, hetried some new things and they did not work so he cleverly acknowledged thatand brought out some one liners, they were better. He then mentioned that hehad a new set because he was criticised for having nicked material... almostfelt like he was having a direct go at me (he wasn’t ) especially as hementioned that he would not mind if the person who told him thus was Frankie Boyle!But he had lost the audience a bit there and was gonged.

This completed the 1^sthalf with 2 through and 2 out the audience had not been forgiving accept maybefor Rikki slightly although he deserved to be through.

Ste Price kicked offthe 2^nd half, Alex mentioned that he had survived Preston and im notsure if that was helpful? He started well but midway through his set produced apiece of paper to read jokes from, this saw him gonged.

Next was JamesOakley... did i mention that his girlfriend was hot?? And now i soundstalkerish!! James had some dark bits to his set but as i was next i was notfully concentrating on it, he was gonged but i could not figure why as i wasmiles away... and oh shit now i’m due on.

Nervous to be back onthe horse maybe but i was going to enjoy this no matter what and to begin itried a classic....I said hello with a big cheesy smile!!!, they hello’d back, niceto get a response, i did my opening joke then mocked myself for having a pooropening joke!!! This worked and i went back to hello how are we all, this wasjust what popped in really it was not comedy genius but it was buying me timeand seemingly making myself more likable. I went into the rehearsed set with anew feeling of self belief and it worked as there were clear laughs, the crowdwere about 60 strong maybe and so it was always going to be a bit easier to geta few people to laugh than the gigs where there is about 15, i was enjoying it.There even came a 1^st for me, a moment when i had to wait forlaughing to stop before i carry on. Before i knew it 5 mins were up and i hadbeat the gong, it was not a great set of course i know my place but for me itwas great to have learned from the Preston lessons and begun to actually actlike a comedian on stage. I felt great.

James was next underhis stage name J.Dunn, his material is more edgy than mine and essentially hasmore depth and thought, but this crowd were not subscribing to that today andalthough his opening joke for me is brilliant they did not go for it and he wasgonged. A shame as he had done superb on his debut at CSCDDC but its characterbuilding and he’ll bounce back.

Gary Allen was nextand our final act, he got some groany jokes out and seemed to be buildingmomentum but never really did and he too became a victim meaning only 3 from 9survived.

At the clap off iusually get some polite applause nothing more but i got a great cheer thistime, Rikki was told he had not won and it was down to myself and Steve, Stevetook it but it was close and that was nice for me to have taken him close asSteve was very good and my choice for winner too, big thanks to James for hissupport tho. So i kinda came second when it was a tough crowd and felt i hadgot a few things right that i had previously got wrong... but still plenty tolearn.

On a side note beforeleaving a guy who runs opens in London took my e mail addy as he said hethought i would do well there, so my London based mates... watch this space!!

better late than never gig13

Tydlesley Manchester was the destination for my 13^th gig at the new venue for promoter Kenny the Queens. It has only been running there for a few weeks after previous venue the gatehouse closed.

I felt relaxed about taking this gig, it was a night where there was an MC, opener to do 15 mins unpaid and 4 acts with one following the opener then a break then 3 again all 4 of which are open unpaid spots then a paid headliner which was on this occasion Sully O Sullivan who of course hosts Mr Bens gong show and supported one of my current favourite comedians Steve Hughes who i went to see in Sheffield. I was looking forward to seeing him in action again.

I arrived at the venue already aware that one of the acts was not going to turn up following speaking with Kenny on the phone earlier that day. I was the last of the Opens to arrive and was introduced to 3 lads who had travelled from Birmingham. They were all more experienced than me and they all knew each other which gave the waiting a bit of a clicky me and them feel which one of the 3 tried to prevent but intentionally tho it may not have been one certainly did talk to me as if i was not an equal with him, the 3^rd was just relaxed and was trying to comprehend what some drunken woman who had taken a seat next to him was trying to say. Amusingly she questioned if we were all comedians calling me and the guy next to her mate, the guy next to me she somehow guessed was gay (flamboyantly gay would best describe him) but the only one of the 4 of us that was black she decided to call dude.... casual racism that tickled us all, she could have chosen worse to say is spose!

The gig itself was supposed to start at 8.30 but Kenny told us that we would be waiting a bit longer as barely any one was in and they were expecting 30 plus, so we waited... and waited. I listened to the guys chat about past gigs ect and occasionally popped up with a comment although im not sure my opinion was overly valued.

I therefore got myself a drink and zoned out of the conversation thinking more about why i was there, this is not me... im not a man full of self belief and i have had some huge confidence knocks in recent years, so why was i trying to be a comedian???? I’m not even that funny. Oddly this question was raised on the Yorkshire comedy forum and i already had my answer from my time sat in a Tyldesley pub.

I also spent time thinking about my set and another thread from the forum had thrown up questions about watching pro’s. My own opinion on that is divided but one thing is for sure... my set is far from original , there is innuendo, there is my gran is so stupid, there is im so crap at sex that.... i have not re invented the wheel but instead put some jimbayes tyres on it!!! But people laugh at my stuff so i have decided to stick with what i have written so far and as i learn the craft of comedy and grow in confidence i can become better at writing too and have a more original set.

All this thought had seen relativity take hold and i had not noticed it was 9.30, show was going to begin only the 1 hour late! But no problem for me its not like i had to be anywhere, while the guys from Brum may have come across negatively they had agreed that it was best for me as a newbie to take middle spot, so i did. They were not unfriendly if thats how i made them seem, i just think of the 3 one of them looked down on me a bit but i was new he was not as new so i do not blame him.

After the Mc Kenny warmed up the 20 strong audience insanely camp Aaron Twitchen went up and did his bit. It was difficult for him and i thought he did well, he did banter and material mixed well. There was a short break then 2^nd half and another 10 or so people had arrived.... do they not have watches in Tyldesley??

I was on 2^nd after a decent set from one of the other 2 lads from Birmingham who i only got the 1^st name of, Dave, he had some bits in his set similar to mine but i was going to keep mine in as they worked for him in a different way to how i was going to do them.

I went up and tried my opening joke.... a few giggles, i think this was not for every room and i have to learn to gauge the rooms better and try a different opening for some rooms. I didn’t feel phased by it however and went about my set in a fairly relaxed way, i enjoyed my 7 mins, i deliberately skipped a few bits that i didn’t think would work to a friendly room who lapped up the knob gags!!

I came off to a nice applause and thought to myself, i might be a bit hack, a bit obvious and even a bit samey but for now its what i am and i must accept that only working hard will improve things.

There was another act then a break and Sully was due on but he had a bit of a mission getting there as he had been blocked in his street by a van!! But he turned up and went on to do his headline bit.

It was very much the set i saw him do with Steve Hughes and i again enjoyed it, but i enjoyed more talking to him after about his own comedy journey.

I had 2 free beers (shame i was driving i’d have had one more otherwise) which was paid for by the venue and then made my way back to Leeds to again reflect on another night doing stand up.

Next it’s Frog and Bucket Manchester on Bank Hol Monday

Vanilla coke-heads, gigs 11 and 12

Gig number 10 last week finally took me into double figures although to a very small audience, gig 11 was of a similar ilk, it was at Baby Jupiter in Leeds with the Howl Lads, those being the dark and exceptionally funny Michael Sterret, Thom Milson and Si Finnigan, they are guys i have seen in action but not performed at one of their gigs yet as i’m not of that standard at the moment. Baby Jupiter however plays host to their new material night CUT UP and i was invited to replace a drop out At this.

I got there to see some familiar faces, Simon Gutherless and Jed Salisbury i had gigged with at the unforgettable Arc gong and Jed along with Andy Woolston who i was meeting for the 1^st time tonight would be with me at Harrogate’s Vanilla bar tomorrow (Thurs 26^th Aril)

I was the newest there at this stage although 2 guys from the audience of approx 8 (3 of which didn’t really want to be there i would say) asked for 5 mins and were given thus.

Callum Scott MC’d (1^st time as mc i think??) and did a good job of getting to know the 3 lads who had a comedy night descend around them even tho at 1^st it was uncomfortable and fake names were given. I guess it would be best to say the night progressed into little more than a practice which is essentially what it was intended for so to kind of review the night would not really be fair as no one was giving their best 10 (well i tried).

I enjoyed my evening and took from it a couple of things, jokes that worked elsewhere failed here yet jokes that failed elsewhere worked here so my stuff depends on the audience a little, and i got to know a few of the other acts all who seem to bring a lot to the table, i look forward to gigging along side them again in the future.

Gig 12 was the very next night, Dave McAndrew runs a monthly night at Vanilla cafe bar Harrogate and i was invited to be one of the opens. Normally Dave would only book more experienced opens such as the other 2 being Karl White and Andy Woolston but i was given the opportunity and took up the offer.

I got to Harrogate at 7.15, over an hour early but i just wanted to get there and settle with a drink and read through my act as i still have doubts about it. I trudged through the rain to the venue and sat soaked to the bone with a red bull and went through everything, i came to the realisation that re reading it would not make it any funnier so i was just putting away my notes when Dave arrived, i got a warm welcome and was swiftly bought a drink. Dave went about setting up and i mooched about sort of nervously until he was done and we sat and had a chat about comedy (standard) and also what to expect from the night.

Eventually the other acts arrived, Jed, Andy from Hull and Karl who came by train from Keighley. But the arrival of the acts was not followed by a mass of guests, the last 2 months Dave had managed to get 70 in i’m told but the torrential rain must have put the punters off tonight as there were only about 25 in. This did not bother me as i had just done Bar 1;22 to 1 and Cut Up to 8 although as mentioned cut up is more a rehearsal of comedy and it was the 1^st time they had done it so no complaints against that night.

The Gig began with Dave warming up the crowd and getting to know who was in, he did about 10 mins of nice audience banter and then got the show going

Jed opened the night with his set that included some audience banter too, including telling a woman in her late 40’s i’d say that she was a milf... which lead to her having to be dragged away from Jed after he had finished by i think her fella as she had amorous intentions!!!

Karl White followed Jed with a odd but excellent set, it was self depredating and quirky and very original, his attempted attempted suicide bit was brilliant.

There was a break and during this 5 people from the audience were removed for their choice of narcotic use and thankfully they were removed by the venue management who accept no crap. This meant i was due on to an audience not distracted by their comments that had come up during Jed and Karls sets.

I was less nervy than in past, i still doubted my material but it was all i have so i went for it.

I did 7 mins (missed a small chunk out that i forgot which would have made about another min and a half... Doh!!!) it was a nice crowd, they listened and they laughed even at my lame jokes so i enjoyed it. I came off feeling good.

Andy followed me, he seemed to start slowly but built up his set, he was clearly more confident than me and considerably younger as is Jed.

His set is cleverer than it seems which sounds like a criticism i guess but it really isn’t. I think he had had the best reception so far and everyone myself included seemed to enjoy his set.

Our final act is a pro who has been gigging for 14 years, but despite this he looked nervous too. I don’t think he is used to small venues like vanilla maybe. His set relied heavily on being from Manchester along with having a ‘silly name’.

He did 30 mins and had some great moments but perhaps his apprehension of the room meant he did not bring his A game, i would suggest he himself knew he will perform better.

That ended another really enjoyable night doing stand up, next gig is over in Tyldesley Manchester.

where is everybody, Gig10

Gig 10 was a short trip to Huddersfield for bar 1:22’s ‘open for Comedy’ it was nice that after Wednesday nights poor gig i was going to be back in front of an audience again straight away.... or so i thought.

I had done badly for the 1^st time but on reflection i have not done well yet either, i am just ok, average, i have a few good jokes and some dross in my set too. I needed to fix this. My Dublin incident story was one i worried about telling, not least because its true but also because i am not sure if it is as funny to people who don’t know me. Despite my concerns i have used it in my last 3 gigs and would have been 4 had i survived the gong in Preston. I had made the decision to stop pratting around with my set and just keep it as it was for at least the next 4 gigs. I can identify areas that don’t work then and alter slightly. The other bonus is that if i keep my set as it is i will know it off by heart before long and not need to keep revision notes.

So my 1^st gig with this train of thought was at bar 1;22 as mentioned. I Arrived on a wet Thursday to see the MC Holly and said my hello’s. I knew no one else although had been on stage with Todd Pemberton once before but did not make conversation with him (my shyness makes me seem rude i bet!) there were to be 7 acts and i was on 6^th. It was pushing 9pm when it seemed worryingly apparent there were not going to be any audience members... well there were 4 plus the other acts.

Holly did her best to make the most of this situation, i think this is where she shines because i have seen her attempt to beat the gong at both Mr Bens and Nottingham Maze and she struggled at both but she is actually a great MC.

She settled the 4 audience members in and the other acts made the ‘crowd’ seem bigger but the worry is with so few audience members, where will the laughs come from. Comedians only offer muted laughs almost as if they are hardened to jokes, or maybe because they secretly want other acts to fail?? I doubt that tho, i mean there are some knob heads in comedy but in general there is great comradery in my experiences so far. Maybe it was seemingly embarrassing to laugh out loud when no one else is?? I don’t know but i do know that it was difficult for 1^st act Si Finnigan.

He knew he had it difficult and went about his set with casual disdain almost, i think he has a good personality on stage, the laid back luke approach. Up 2^nd was the more energetic approach from Todd Pemberton. He has confidence that oozes out and he is definitely likeable. Marshall b Anderson followed, he is older than most new comedians i met, he knows it and uses it. His comedy is reflective of a man with life experience too, i liked his flowing style. We then had a break.... we should have just ploughed through as during the break 75% of the audience left (that’s only 3 people tho!!)

The 2^nd half was started by Heena Patel, a bi sexual Hindu girl.... in what other walk of life would i be hearing someone openly describe themselves thus?? She was followed by the oddly creepy one liner comic Nigel Needham, his gags were good but he was a bit hard to hear. I think when he has a bigger audience i’m sure he will be better to watch. I was on next. No nerves as there was only 1 guy in the audience and 4 of the comedians that had previously been on (one went home reducing the audience to 9 in total baring in mind the MC and a non performing comic were also present.

I went about my set with no real nerves, i knew it would be difficult to get a laugh but i had stuff to work on so that i did, my set went on for 8 mins and i decided i had done enough. There was rapturous applause of course (in my head).

The final act was Vertically challenged Jibreel Arshad, at 3ft tall and as a member of the Asian community he has 2 minority areas to pluck comedy from, he challenged us to guess his height, no one dared, he challenged us to guess his age... i had no idea, he claimed most people think he’s 6... he’s 23. He completed his short set (that was not a pun) and again challenged us to ask why he is short... to his face offstage! An odd performance with potential.

The night came to an end and i was on my way, the barman told me he liked my set best... a small detail but the compliment was nice. I hope to get a chance to play there again when there are a few more people in.

Vanilla at Harrogate next

A bad gig, a good lesson. gig No9

I got a last minute offer to do a gong show in Preston, gong shows had been going well for me in that I was surviving the 5 but not winning, I was umming and ahhing as to weather I would go but decided I would.
I had had an awful day, working outside in the pouring rain not helping so I thought going to Preston would be a good escape…. It was… and it wasn’t!
I got there at 6.45 45 mins early which was good as I needed to read through another we write of my stuff and learn it, I could not do this however as 2 of the other comics were there already and it would be rude not to chat with them. They like me were less than double figures in terms of gig done and were trying some changes to their stuff.
It was a gong show in the mould of Mr Bens but without the 2 min grace period.
There were 10 acts on and 3 were doing their very 1st gig.

The crowd was at around 50 people and the compare gave out the red cards to 3 girls aged around 25 for them to be our judges for the evening.
The running order had already been done and I was on 2nd to last.
The guy who went 1st was using material similar to mine and it was going down well, I thought to myself I can make my set better.
2nd on was our only female act, she talked about needing to check if she was pregnant and how her boyfriend would react but with 20 seconds to go she was gonged, not helped by the all female judges I think?
On next a guy from north Wales who did some topical and some hack stuff about Wales, he had a mini break down halfway through when he forgot his set but it didn’t matter he was not voted off.. Which is what made the next one odd… he was a 1st timer but he was getting laughs all the way through.. Yet he did a tit joke and boom 10 seconds shy of 5 mins he was off (I should have spotted this and learned from it about the room)
Up next was fingerless nick as mentioned in earlier blogs, he was gliding through his set but again he made a comment that was less than favourable about women and a card went up but he clawed it back straight away. For me the winner so far.
There was a break then act 2, up 1st was another 1st timer, he had a great delivery, good confidence but his material was not his own, the audience didn’t know that and they loved it, I hope he writes some stuff of his own as he was good on stage but I think a lot of people can go tell other peoples jokes for 5 mins.
The next 2 were someone doing gig 3 and our final 1st timer, neither got very far before being gonged but I would say the audience claws were sharpened now and they were not being patient as both guys got more laughs then a previous act who got through. It had quickly come round to my turn. I had decided to try a look that included flamboyant shoes black trousers white shirt black tie, I went up to the stage with no confidence tho, I began my usual routine getting the expected laughs in places it had before then I tried the re write stuff…. I had forgotten half of it due to nerves… so I went back to my normal stuff, that got me a card as it was all over the place but I thought I had recovered until I did my joke about calling my ex a fatty… boom the other 2 cards straight up and I was off, I was also the nights loser being gonged quicker than anyone else.
I will blame a couple of things…. But NOT the audience, I want to blame them but its not their fault I did not make them laugh. I will blame changing my set all the time when im so new… write one set, learn it and hone it…. That is what I will now do, I’ll blame myself for not having the ability to recover when I forgot a bit, work on that me thinks. I will blame myself for not learning my material and taking Mickey Sharma’s advice. All these things are valuable lessons, the shame of being gonged off and doing badly is necessary to learn from I think, there are an awful lot of gifted new comedians on the scene so I need to work hard at this to make sure I become one of them.
Anyway back to the gig, one last act was to perform, he was casual and clever but started with a well used I look like celeb x and celeb y’s love child, his set however was very good, I thought he might run fingerless nick close as potential winner.

The final vote was between 5 acts from 10, whittled down to 3 quickly it was fingerless Nick, the 1st timer and the last act…. Fingerless Nick was next to go… I couldn’t believe it tho when the 1st timer was then announced winner, take nothing away from him as an act, he was better than me on stage and it was his 1st ever go… but comedy has a writing aspect too and it seemed harsh that Nick and final act lost out with their own material.
I have much work to do before Bar 1:22 in Huddersfield tonight

An Indian a Jamaican and a Yorkshireman go into a bar, gig No8

With Verve and funhouse comedy done this week already Thursday 12th April I was booked to the Lamp Tavern in Dudley, an open mic night where I would be allowed up to 10 mins to try my stuff. I had spent most of the week worrying about the Nottingham night, I want to do well in gong shows so this night I hadn’t even thought about, I was going to do the exact same set as I did at Verve comedy cellar on Tuesday and hopefully learn how to trim it down a little and add some audience interaction at some point (its my biggest weakness that I am just talking at them rather than to them and although I need to work on everything that is what needs most work)
I borrowed Vikki’s car for this journey (thanks Vik) and left Leeds at 2.30pm, I was going to make a stop in Tamworth to see my Aunty as, if I was going to be in the Midlands it’s always nice to stop in and get fed!!
After a lovely time with my aunty it reached 6.30pm and time for me to move on from Tamworth to Dudley another 45 min drive away.

I arrived to see the Lamp Tavern on a junction, at the back was a marquee where I assume they hold events then as I walked around the marquee from the car park I saw there was a function room to the back of the pub where the comedy was held. I was greeted at the door by organiser Phillip McCullough, he welcomed me and got me a free drink then explained the night, he also wanted to know how long I’ll be doing, I mis heard this as how long have you been doing so I replied 7 gigs so far which clearly made no sense . Phillip was honest and frank in his response to that, ‘we don’t really care about how long or short your career is there is little progression offered here, just make them laugh is all I ask’ a fair and honest response from a guy who clearly tells it like it is and I liked that. I ordered my now staple pre comedy Red Bull and sat with 2 other comics who were performing, the brilliant Mickey Sharma who would be headlining and a character act Danny Razzle played by Matt Davies both from the Midlands area. We chatted about learning your material to the point where you know every syllable and how to deliver it and self belief, well Mickey talked to us and we listened, he knows what he’s talking about. Another act arrived, Helen from Wolverhampton (I think her name was Helen I feel bad as I cant remember) but it seemed no other acts were going to turn up….why??? Well one had a good reason, a guy I gigged with in Nottingham the night before had earlier that day lost his finger in an accident at the gym!! And it seemed he had to go to hospital but the others?? I don’t get it, I would walk to Dudley from Leeds or to anywhere for stage time, I would never book in and then not go unless circumstances (as with fingerless Nick) were out of my control but then I’d ring immediately (and still try get there) anyway moan over it was time for the show.
I was due on 1st for the second night in a row, it was fine this time I felt calm and ready, perhaps a result of doing 3 nights on the bounce.
Phillip during his MC routine mocked carrot trousers, v neck t shirts and pumps style of dress on men, he was having a friendly dig at a regular but I was wearing this exact ensemble.. Doh!!!
I arrived on stage my stop watch set so I didn’t exceed the 10 mins allotted and immediately drew audience attention to my clothes… giggles began to move around the room ’well it’s a good start’ I said as opening line… not sure what I meant but they laughed.  I then talked about my usual stuff, the upbringing in Otley and my misadventures in sex, it’s a topic that will not win me any prizes for originality but it will always make certain people laugh. It was going well, I missed a few jokes again but I was getting a good response from a nice room, I moved on to my Dublin incident story, the tuck shop aside didn’t seem to work so I’ll be looking out for other audience responses to that in future but the incident itself was well received and I was enjoying myself. I had got through the set a bit quickly due to missing the earlier jokes so I told another brief story abut being arrested and left the stage.

Next up was the Lady from Wolverhampton, she was doing her 12th show she told me but it seems she had told Phillip it was her 1st (her 1st in Dudley she meant) she like me relied on her roots, her family is of Jamaican decent and she flipped from Wolves to Jamaican accent impersonating the stereotyped Jamaican lady and the audience liked it. Her best part was at the end tho as she had got in a fight she had tried hard to avoid and in the end just went for it, removing her hair (it was not at all clear it was a wig so great surprise) to show a shaven head/ short haircut.

Next on was Danny Razzle, a creepy character who makes light of shitting himself, stabbing people and creeping women out. He had a recurring theme where he woke up next day with Boy George or Elton john that was funny but the room was predominantly women and he struggled to keep momentum, something he knew and he cut short  his act  by  couple of mins, the key here was he didn’t totally die but he recognised that the audience had not quite understood the act so he did the right thing I guess in coming off early.

There was a break then the final act was going to do 35 mins to fill the missing slots time up.. And what a treat.
Mickey Sharma a western born Indian told stories of visiting India, beat boxed Indian themed lullaby’s and talked of Indian sex life vs. western and the pro’s and cons of having a white girlfriend.
He glided through his set knowing every word of it off by heart even the new stuff he was here to test.
He had a mixture of topical jokes, knob gags and just plain silliness that all made his personality endearing.
I watched and thought what can I learn from this performance, well many things really, here is a guy who has gone pro after 3 years doing opens and now he has a great presence. Awesome to watch.

After the gig we all did the add on face book thing and Mickey offered a little more advice before it was time for me to head back.
The long drive back to Leeds not helped by miles of roadwork’s but I didn’t mind, I had had an awesome night at Lamp Tavern and would love to return again should I be welcome.

Up next Bar 1:22 Huddersfield

Laughing Louis and the glowstick gong, gig No7

My latest attempt to be a comedian saw me travel to Nottingham Maze to do another gong show.
This was the 1st gig I booked and I have been waiting a while to do it, it was through the comedy course I got this gig, another reason why doing a course is worthwhile I would say. This gong show was formatted differently to all the others. There is no voting you off mid joke but instead the votes are done on 2 mins, then every 1.5 mins thereafter taking you up to 5 mins if you survive the votes. If at the final vote you get more green than red (glowsticks rather than cards this time) you are invited to the final where you get up to another minute to win the £50 prize.
Spikey Mike the event organiser and compare e mailed me last week to confirm I would attend and with the e-mail he listed people who would offer a lift, I contacted one of those guys Ross Brierly who was a very similar position to me in terms of gigs done. This was I could share fuel costs and have a chat about what is on where and hopefully give each other some help.
I’m glad I did this and we chatted all the way to Notts like a couple of seasoned pro’s as if we knew what we were talking about!!
We arrived in Nottingham to find only one other act waiting and Spikey Mike not yet there so we got a drink and were about to grab a seat in the bar when Mike opened the door to the comedy club, in we went.
The stage was small and cosy and I was looking forward to getting up on it but the room was cold and as we were the 1st 3 in it felt a empty… well it would do.. It was empty! A steady flow of other acts arrived and we chatted about the night in prospect before Spikey Mike called us to a register. He announced that 3 acts from the scheduled 15 would not be coming and therefore as there were only 12 of us the votes would be on 3 mins and 5 mins cutting one vote out to get us more stage time filling the gap left by the missing 3.
He then asked who would like to go 1st, no one seemed keen, he asked again and Patrick Draper said he would but mike said no as you are a good act and I don’t want anyone to follow you id rather have you before a break so no one has to… good decision as Patrick I later found out was excellent. I decided to put my hand up for going 1st, hell the crowd are not sure of the standard yet I had nothing to lose so why not, the down side was that if I was gonged I had a long time t wait for my lift home especially if he made the final.
The rest of the order was set everyone knew their slot and we joined the smaller than usual audience (apparently the night was effected by Easter but there was still a nice crowd in)
Spikey Mike began the night with a couple of jokes and audience banter, one guy in particular was good to have as a judge, he was a deli manager for a supermarket, Louis was his name and he was to be the man that helped a lot of the acts through, Louis was one of those belly laugh guys who did not care how loud he was laughing and was very much the sort that found things funny that others may have just tittered at. He was a great guy to have in the crowd and gave a green light to most of the acts, his girl friend however barely smiled and offered reds to most acts.
Mike got round all of the judges explained the night to them all and it was time, I was stood nervously at the side of the room out of sight of the stage waiting to be announced, Mike however had forgotten to take the running order on and could not remember who was 1st, it looked like he had forgotten my name but it was more he’d forgotten who was on so he asked and I shouted up my name, he then introduced me to the stage and I began my set by acting like I had forgotten my name too, it got a giggle and eased my nerves and I began, my set very much the same as the one that saw me through  3 previous gong shows covering my early days living in Otley and the Yorkshire upbringing. I felt more confident after the 1st few laughs (thanks Louis ) and went through my set with a little more calm than past although I forgot 2 punch lines at the end making my last bit sound a bit wordy, I was later advised by another act to trim that, I think it was good advice. I survived the 5 mins and the final vote put me into the final, buzzing!! I now had to think of another minutes material tho as I did not expect this!!
I wont list all the other performers as there was a reviewer in the crowd, we had no idea we were being reviewed but it was a friendly reviewer looking for positives in all our acts, to see it go to www.scorpio-promotions.com/gigreviews/archives/382

7 of the 12 acts made it to the final and were asked to return to the stage to do another minute.
For my final one minute performance I did something I have never done before, I wrote material on my hand to help me remember (well notes not the whole set) I decided to take random jokes I had thought up and written on my phone note pad but not found a way to put into my set, it basically made me a one liner comedian for the last part and of my 9 one liners 8 went well… the other I’ll probably not do again!!

It came to vote time and all the 7 finalists were back on the stage and lined up ready to have the audience shout cheer and clap their approval of the winner. I got moderate applause as did most but Patrick Draper who I mentioned earlier had a fantastic deadpan set that was far and away the best on the day and he was deserved winner.

I had another gig under my belt and with Dudley looming tomorrow I was on cloud 9, this might only be a silly hobby at this stage… but I love it