a busy 8 days gigs 39-43

So i mentioned in my last blog starting a new job, well this has left me feeling all kinds of tired (im aware that all kinds of tired is an Americanism of sorts and makes me sound like a twat).

Basically i’m just getting my excuse in for not having blogged as since my last blog i have done 5 gigs in 8 days including my 1^st middle 10 at a pro night, so lets start there. I was fortunate to get this gig as i happened to do fairly well at Mr Bens gong show in front of Adam Rushton who is involved in the booking of the gig and as a result was offered the opportunity to do the following Saturdays middle 10.

this blog may be easier to read in stages?? i can never be bothered reading big long blogs etc in one go so it is layed out as

Sat21 gig39

Wed 25 gig 40

Thur 26 gig 41

Fri 27 gig 42

Sat 28 gig 43 yes i have somehow reached 43 gigs since starting out in March!! blog should return to normal from next week

Saturday 21^st gig 39 Mr Bens

I of course snapped Adams hand off and changed my dinner plans (that makes it sound so much more sophisticated than it would have been) and off i went to my 1^st slot on a pro bill. I arrived at the club to see only one other person in the room, it was star of plusnet broadband ads and MC for the night Craig Murray, Craig is younger than me by 2 years but i went and chatted to him like he was an older human! Basically picking his brain as a pro act seeing how it all works and if there is a future for someone like me. He was very helpful in offering advice etc and did not look down at me at all as a newbie, to be fair all the comics i know don’t look down on each other even tho for example i’m certain many don’t like my set but never offend me about it but i sort of expecte the pro’s to be a bit “oh god not another shitty open spot act” but this didn’t happen and was not the case with the other 2 pro’s i met those being Marty Mclean and Greg Crook. There was also another open, a very dry and funny act named Peter Brush, i made a little conversation with him but i think he is a little shy? Either that or he thinks i’m a twat and didn’t want to offend me!!

Anyway the gig itself, and one that was a worry for me because the 1^st 2 rows were filled with large ladies on a hen night.... my Dublin story (which im now moving to Amsterdam to link with another true story that may im working on) was not going to impress them! And now i have found out im going on 1^st, lets do this!

I approached the gig in my normal way, there were moments that no laughter occurred when it should and there were moments where laughter occurred when it shouldn’t but on the hole it went ok and i was pleased to get the gig under my belt. I knew it wasn’t as good as it could have been especially as during my hen night bit half the hens in the room sat stony faced, but another lesson learned.

Weds 25^th gig 40 cut up

My next gig was the final CUT UP gig, very sad to see this gig go. I was going to try new stuff but i had not had time to rehearse it as i have been learning loads of systems for a new job, this became very evident very early when i got 3 out of 4 punchlines wrong, then i began to mock a man for having an innuendo sounding name, this was an Indian sikh name and therefore i was essentially being racist, not my intention of course and now i feel like a total dick! I then had microphone issues as that stopped working and as i tried to recover the audience began talking and i do not have the ability as an act yet to re gain control of a bad situation so i bolted!!! Bad gig for me indeed.

 CUT UP is the place to bomb though, the room is full of support and a big comedy safety blanket, such a shame the HOWL guys cannot afford the time to run it anymore but everyone has commitments and given the way things have been for me this week i can see why. I would like to not down how everyone did at this final version of CUT UP but i am condensing 5 blogs into 1 so i will just give special mention to Mike Bentley for the best set of the night and one of the best i have seen in a while.

Thursday 26th gig 41 railway venue

My next stop was thr railway venue Bolton, i drove to Bolton fuelled up on red bull as the week was starting to catch up with me, i was also thinking back on the previous nights failure and how i had stepped back into feeling like i was a terrible comedian once again and talking myself into being a poor act when really i should be selling my mediocre jokes and making them seem funnier, but the thing is all that didn’t matter because when i arrived Timmy and Tommo the organisers just set me at ease, they are very welcoming, very friendly and also generous. They explained the night and the format to me and i just felt at ease and very comfortable. The other acts on would be Casey Dorgan going 1^st, Casey did Mr Bens when i won and did very well, he was doing his 11^th gig i think he said and looked like he has got something. Lewis Charlesworth and Pete Phillipson would be providing a double headliner 2^nd half, they were both great to watch.

My set went ok, it was not the best response i have had but most certainly not the worst and i enjoyed myself up on the stage. The audience who didn’t like my stuff were still polite and pleasant and the ones who did i was grateful for the laughs! I came off feeling very good, a huge improvement on the night before. The guys in Bolton put on a great gig and MC it a bit like Boltons version of Ant & Dec, i cant speak highly enough of the night and drove back to Leeds with my 4^th red bull of the night keeping me on the road!

Friday 27^th gig 42 Roadhouse

I returned to roadhouse to enter a new act of the year competition run by the lovely Jamie Tipping. I don’t fully know the rules, the format or how and when i’ll find out how i have done but i do know that it was another chance to perform my 14 mins set and try tighten it up (which i did but this reduced it to 12 mins) when i arrived the 1^st act was doing a bit about being a maverick,  this included yelling i’m a maverick with a little sort of skip i guess i could call it, dance is another term i could use... but its not really either! Anway i tried doing a call back to that and it must have come across as me being cruel because one judge put her pen down, called me mean and made no more notes!! Well i,m not going any further then!! (she was lovely though so don’t worry all is good)

My performance was ok, there were not many audience members in, about 6 i think and everyone else was an act (acts tend not to laugh at other acts) including one act who actively scowled at one of my jokes, although there was a priest who had performed just before me (and she was funny too... yeah not just trying to be sneaky and preach to a different audience) who laughed a bit possibly out of politeness?

I enjoyed my stint and MC Jamie challenged me to wear speedo’s in the semi should i make it that far...... we’ll see, i don’t want to make people sick!

I had another enjoyable night at roadhouse and back to leeds i went with yet more red bull intake!

Sat 28th gig43 the George

My George and the jesters gig..... Well what can i say about this gig, i flyered this time... i actually flyered! I rallied work friends facebook friends acts who might have friends, friends of friends even people who liked 90’s sitcom friends but alas it was a poor turn out and i am still trying very hard to get the pub management to understand how comedy runs and works. But nit picking aside a gig of sorts did take place and even though Dave Mac was ill and unable to MC it was all good as Ross Brierly stepped in to make his MCing debut. Ross had a hard job going on to an unresponsive crowd of 9, he did well though, his attitude of roll up your sleeves and drag yourself through it is commendable and it was very hard going. Danny Cox had it even more difficult as when he went on 4 more audience members arrived and the bar service continue as normal. Comedy needs silence, i tried to get them to quiet down slightly but Danny to his credit rattled on, i really like Danny, he’s 18 but yet he is pleasant, confident, polite (trust me loads of 18yr olds are totally unaware of politeness i’m not just being all moany old git) the guy is funny too and also has musical abilities. Basically i wish when i was 18 i was that ambitious and creative, instead i was just interested in working, pubbing and playing football. Thom Milson had the toughest job of the evening, Danny had well (better than he thinks) but got nothing and now a few more people were listening but ready to criticise, i hate that, like someone sitting in a karaoke bar slagging off every singer but refusing to go on themselves, the singer is having a good time why don’t you try???? Poor analogy i know but Thom had to endure this although my friends from work and my Fiance’s sister and boyfriend were all in and they were being supportive, however it wasn’t enough and Thom took one for the team and built the night up as a bit of a surreal mix of weird people and poor event management. Si finnigan followed on this in a similar vain, i think Si has a great attitude in that he does what he does and in his words hate-fucks the audience, i very much enjoy watching this unfold!

My turn came and i was lucky in that they were now warmed up, i chose to go on later as i wanted to keep my friends in for the duration of the evening if i could not because i wanted to make a pro Jim Bayes, ego enhancement night as it may appear, especially after somehow a whole group of people became dubbed Jim’s family!!

Anyway i just went on thinking fuck it i’m going for it no matter what and this worked, albeit helped by the work colleagues etc. i didn’t exactly deliver comedy gold but i did just go with it, i was also lucky that the 4 front row idiots were sober enough because when James Christopher went on they were wasted and he never got into any rhythm without being heckled, offered a shot of sambuca or interrupted with talking! I was mortified but James has a calm air of cool control and although he was unable to get his Edinburgh preview out he did get to hear the heckle, what does your shirt pattern mean???

I must not do this again!! Big thanks to all the guys that performed tho especially last min MC Ross who did superb in a role i think we will see him doing more of.

Next for me is a talent comp gig in Manchester

Write or wrong Gig38

I have started an new job recently which suits me greatly as the hours are 8-4 meaning i can finish work and be on my way to a comedy venue fairly quickly, but one thing that has affected me is that i am a little more tired than normal despite my apparent energy drink addiction. I did not realise how much that would impose on my performance until i actually arrived at my 8 spot in Preston and while trying to remain calm could not remember any of the material i was going to perform!

I will come back to that shortly, joining me on the trip were Jon Newell who was coming to participate in the gong show, Dave McAndrew who was coming to support and if anyone does not turn up maybe go on (everyone turned up unfortunately) and one of my oldest friends Quinny, he’s 97.... of course im joking i mean in terms of how long i have known him but longest running sounds like a tv show so i went for oldest!

The Journey there was a mixture of comedy chat and of course talking about Quinny’s Job in Iraq as it is not without danger and i never know if each visit home he does will be the last, morbidly hopeful (of course i again jest.... hilarious in know).

We arrived in Preston about 15 mins late but were amongst the 1^st to arrive, the room was packed with more people filtering in so there was a lovely atmosphere building. We went through to the green room and i chatted with some of the acts as they came in while waiting for the brilliant Dave Twentyman who would be our MC this evening to give us the nod that the show was starting.

I have mentioned before that i have a joke very similar to one of Jon Newells and had discussed recently about people who steal jokes from sickipedia, with that in mind i had decided to drop the Joke similar to jon’s in favour of a different version and also had not long ago dropped a joke that i did indeed myself take from the internet but back then i was none the wiser. I needed to mention this because i am not overly happy with my writing still, i think it is ok but not where i want to be however it is my writing so i was gutted to hear after having been on that my opener (one of my favourite jokes) is being done by a pro comedian and he has been doing it for 2 years, this in itself is not a massive worry im sure it happens and i have never seen the act in question (Danny Sutcliffe) so there is no accusation of me.. but how many of my jokes are so obvious that other atcs are doing them?? I already know that Janie Huxx has a memory foam joke like mine and that Frankie peoples has a clap joke like mine plus the Jon Newell joke previously mentioned. There is a huge new doubt on my ability to do this comedy malarkey and for the 1^st time since i began i felt a bit down about it like i had naively thought i was doing better than i am, so whats the answer? Well carry on as i am and just write more stuff and keep trying it, work hard and ye shall reap the rewards.

So the show itself, i was on 1^st and as mentioned earlier in the blog was not in great form due to being tired, as i walked up to the stage nerves were jangling slightly but i was determined to act confident and hope i would remember my set as i delivered it. I did as it happens but that was detrimental to my performance and although there were laughs i could see people thinking... how did he ever win a gong show??.

After me was Rich Wall, i sensed he was more advanced than me and perhaps not a gong show winner but an invited guest, i did not ask him this but justed from the way he was speaking and acting like he knew his way round a comedy club, his set seemed to prove this to me as it was new stuff yet infinitely better than my ‘Best 8’

There was a break before Dave Twentyman came back on and got the capacity audience settled with his natural charm and very cheeky chappy style.

1^st to take on the gong was Chris Washington, a guy doing only his 4^th ever gig, he was in the audience when i was at comedy balloon and i knew he had done well at Queens in Tyldesly as i had seen the posts from Kenny, i had chatted to him in the green room and heard he had won in Manchester on Monday, it was clear why! He at 1^st looked nervous and a little uncomfortable but after about a minute he was in his stride and the jokes were well constructed. He had a stort telling style and a little bit of self mockery that really worked, i very much enjoyed it. No cards up he sailed through.

Next was a bloke called Mark doing a character act, i did not catch the name of the character but he arrived on stage wearing a black hood over his face, a black suit and on his hand was a snake glove puppet, now this was not ventriloquism as the hood covered his mouth and the mic was held under the hood, and it was not quite comedy, i could not tell what was being said but it was the quickest carding i have ever seen (approx 25 seconds) i can only assume it was an experiment as Mark had told me he has been doing comedy on and off for 5 years. Matthew Delaney went next, he was just a young lad not sure exactly how old but no more than 21 i’d say, he looked nervous but controlled it very well and had a great 4 mins... but he was out of stuff by then end of the 4 mins and there then came about a little game of is my time up yet, i cant describe it but it was funny and Matt dropped one liners in between asking the time... he was kept on stage for an extra minute which was adding to the humour, 2 very good acts from 3.

After the break it was the turn of Jay Handley, Jay performed at the Coventry disaster gig and i had not been able to see him play to a proper audience but tonight was the chance and i was not disappointed, he leapt from the ultimate looky likey joke to pure filth to witty exchanges and was in no danger of being gonged.

Next on was Johnny Greatrex, another of the Birmingham acts i have gigged with a few times before, he was in the best form i had seen from him and lit the stage up with his own cheeky giggle after each joke landed, again no danger of a card going up and another act through.

Jon was next, he looked more nervous than usual and i think that it was down to him not being sure of which material to do, he is now at at least 20 gigs and im sure he knows which jokes do work i just think he needs to believe it as the nerves not the material saw him carded, im in no place to offer advice but perhaps decide which material to do in advance and just stick to that would be helpful for Jon.

Final act of the night was Matt Fong, Matt’s self belief was at the other end of the spectrum from jon and this was none more evident than in conversation off stage, on stage Matt had got to 3 mins before really even having done any material, i think one card went up but otherwise it was a good performance and he went through too.

After a quick clap off it was clear Chris was the winner and im sure he will do well in more shows as he progresses as for a very new act it was great.

So it was now journey home time and i just thought i would mention that for some reason on the walk back to the car we were asked by a tramp/ homeless guy for 10p and we declined (i had no change) but when we arrived at the car pay point there was a well dressed young guy who clearly was not short of money in general but was 10p shy of his parking fee so he asked us and without a second thought we gave him 10p admittedly we mocked him ad requested ‘favours’ for the money jokingly out bidding each other which lead to more laughter as we twice drove past him as we wound through the car park down to the street, the second time being when he was stood on a street corner!!

Cue plenty of jokes in the car about how we would not give a guy who desperately needed money 10p but didn’t think twice about coughing up to someone who didn’t need it really amongst plenty of other ‘Banter’ based jokes as once again the drive home proved to be the funniest part of the night.

Up next for me, Mr Bens Saturday pro night guest slot (unpaid i’m not that advanced yet).... bricking it!

Pot meets kettle Gig37

I have blogged recently about badly run gigs and badly attended gigs so it is only fair having started my own gig picking up from where Leeds Acoustic left off i be uber self critical too, pot calling kettle and all that.

Gig’s can be as nice or as good as the audience but they do in fact need an audience and although i had sought to promote via on line forums, facebook, twitter, posters and by asking the acts to help out a little spreading the word i was unable to get more than 9 (at its busiest) plus the acts in. Sad really as i had done all i could to make a nice gig and had got some support from the landlord Chris who will be willing to put some money into the gig when it builds. Chris likes his music and the idea of keeping punters in the pub longer so he is booking a musical act to play after the comedy had finished, on this occasion he booked Chocolate Orange who were vocalist Georgina and Keyboards from Michael. I had booked in acts who i had fairly recently gigged with, i was unsure of how the 1^st night would pan out so went with people i trusted would deliver but had also booked 2 guys who i did not know as well however had gigged with both of them before. The full line up was Thom Milson, Ben Gibson, Jon Newell, Ryan Brown, Todd Pemberton, Si Finnigan and myself with Matt Fong as MC. When i arrived at the gig it was clear despite my efforts (feeble though they were) it was not going to be packed!! Or even attended at all it seemed, although my brother did show up with my nephew (who i mention in some of my material has only just turned 18 so he was exited... naively ... about the night) 1^st act to arrive was Ben Gibson, carrying a bucket!! He told me it was his joke bucket and that it also doubled up as a bucket, then jokes about bucket lists followed and such hilarity ensued, i’m so funny off stage!

Next to arrive was Jon then quickly followed by Matt and Ryan all of who thought... where is everybody?? Si and Thom were next to arrive and i received a message from Todd that due to the rugby he was delayed on his train but as he was coming from Manchester the furthest of all tonights acts (not hundred % sure how far Ryan travelled) so can be forgiven.

In running the gig i had tried to think of what i would expect from a gig, let the acts know what time to arrive, how long they have, who is mc and who else is on, where they can park and the gig rules (just things like stay and support other acts, try use best material not untested new stuff) e mail those details in advance, however i feel i had fallen short on my end of the bargain in not getting an audience (i could blame the rugby i suppose?)

So the night went ahead as a kind of test the water style gig, Matt Fong kicked us off as MC and warmed the few who were listening up with a more gentle approach than i have seen from him when he is gigging normally, he was using the stage time well and making a hard job look easy which i was grateful for as like all the acts in fairness he shrugged off the poor attendance and just went about the gig with a good attitude. Todd was meant to be 1^st on but he was yet to arrive so Ben stepped up, Originally he was going to do his character act Silvio Delewrance but this was dropped in favour of more proven material and Ben delivered his unintentional Stewart Lee style with charm.

Todd had arrived and went straight on more or less, i had mentioned him in an earlier blog once by name and once not but both times i had said how likeable and confident he is on stage despite being short on punhlines.. well he had worked on his act and more punchlines adding to an already instantly enjoyable demeanour, i really enjoyed how he opened apologising to Ben for missing his act and suggesting “you can wait outside till i have finished if you like”, todd was only doing his 14^th gig i believe and i would say he is one to watch out for. Next on was Jon, Jon was steadily improving his delivery and stage persona and tonight looked another step closer, he had some real charm about his stage presence tonight and made light of a mini heckle when doing his gay superhero bit.

Jon is another act who is worth keeping an eye on, his writing is miles better than i could ever produce which leads me nicely on to the next act.... me! I went on with a notepad, i would never do this normally except at cut up but the way the gig was going i figured test some of those jokes that never get tried or tested because i haven’t figured out a way to slot them in!! A few worked, a few didn’t and i then slipped into some old materiel that i had tried only about 3 times before... it didn’t work that well then it isn’t any better now! I limped of stage almost apologetically and into the break we went.

Chris suggested we get the band (for want of a better word as they are not quite a band) to play at the interval allowing a few more people to come in. They played for around 20 mins, the beautiful vocalist Georgina hypnotising almost every bloke in the room! I would love to further review them but i will stick to the comedy aspect for now.

Si Finnigan launched the 2^nd half with typical Si Finnigan style, confrontational, confident, funny. The confrontational element to Si is not aggressive (sometimes it is!!) but rather like someone who is justifying his persona, a part of his act that is a joy to watch, and one it is best to see in action than to take from my scribe. Thom followed and in keeping with the 1^st half tested a few bits breaking into material now and again but with no real success as the audience buy in was fading, Thom has enough ability to make the most of the situation and delivered jokes indicative of his style while only delivering a short set.

Ryan closed the show, he is a one liner specialist but the audience buy in had fully faded by now and he struggled to start with, no fault of his own and the pace picked up with a few joke down allowing the people who had descended into the basement room to pick up the flow of the set, Ryan has a high joke rate and a cheeky giggle after each delivery that is in itself amusing.

And so the George and the Jesters debut night was brought to a close, The next one is on Sat 28^th (2 weeks apart) and will hopefully have a better crowd with the heat turned up on my promoting of the night and some great advice from Matt to look into. Big thanks to all the acts who will be invited back when i have it busy.

For me next is my 8 spot at Frog and Bucket Preston

Selling mouthwash Gig36

I have turned myself into a bit of a gig whore and you don’t whore yourself out without catching the odd dose of bad gig syndrome. I answered an ad on the midlands comedy forum to MC a band night in Birmingham breaking it up with comedy, I should have seen the warning signs as when I applied I told the organiser I did not want to be the MC as I did not feel I had the experience but instead I would do one of the comedy spots? His response was overly enthusiastic and encouraged me to MC so I agreed not sensing his inexperience no doubt due to my own.
I visualised the gig and in fairness was not a million miles off, I expected a lot of leather clad long haired black clothed people with a friendly approach which is more or less what I got however I also visualised there being about 100 people there and being a Friday night gig I was exited about that element. When I arrived after a fairly traffic free 2 and a half hour drive the venue looked exactly as I imagined, the only people there were the event organiser who was clearly new to this, he was 20 and his 17yr old sister was there helping, the 1st thing he said was that there had been 2 drop outs and could I help? Thankfully I could with both Janie Huxx and Callum Scott answering a tweet/face book message however while I was sorting that it became clear there were going to be few audience members as one of the bands who dropped out had an entourage that made for 95% of the crowd that therefore would not be coming, with that in mind talk of cancelling arose but I had travelled a long way and the drummer who they were also waiting for turned up so it was on and just Callum an myself would do the comedy as it was not worth Janie travelling (she dodged a bullet). The gig was supposed to start at 8 but there were only 4 people in so we waited til half past which was totally worth it as that number jumped to 6!!!
So I began, talking to 6 people with a microphone in my hand did kind of make me feel like I was one of those supermarket knobs trying to sell a new type of sensitive teeth mouthwash and only a few old ladies who were just being polite were listening, but I cracked on, I attempted some material but it just fell flat so I chatted to the 6 guys who were at least being polite (the bands were all sat in the room too but not listening in favour of having their own conversation. I didn’t mind that there was not too much interest but it seems like a lot of them knew nothing of why there was a comedian of sorts and were very un aware of the rules of comedy, also the sound set up was awkward for comedy with one of the monitors offering feedback that seemingly only I could here, very distracting for comedy pauses. But with all those small issues (character building) I just continued talking crap at my 6 spectators when I saw a brilliant sight… Callum who had heard of this last minute jumped on a train and got here pronto had arrived…. I gave him no time to settle!!! He was on. The good thing for Callum was that the bands stopped chatting to listen to the proper comedian and it helped as he got laughter from a difficult crowd. I had only given Callum 8 mins of the 15 he was supposed to have due to the several changes in line up but decided as he had no idea how long he had to allow him to do 12 before signalling time, they weren’t happy with me for this but by now I thought fuck it.
Callums set was fantastic, some new stuff I had not seen and although he was a tiny bit rusty it did not show at all he looked in great form, he is light years ahead of me in terms of writing and ability and much younger… I must kill him!! But then there are a lot of acts who are better and younger and I don’t have enough patio space to dispose of them all… anyway back to the night. There were a couple of bands who played and as time had run over I didn’t do my MC bit in-between… thankfully. I had however intended to use my last 5 mins to practice my set although what happened was the band went on behind me and were supposed to wait for my intro and 5 to finish… they didn’t! while I was talking they were strumming and although I twice hinted politely and then yelled shut the fuck up at them it was clear they had no intentions of waiting for comedy to finish so I just got off there and finished, so I had done 25 mins on stage with barely any of it material and no one listening really and the £20 expenses I was promised not paid as they had no money!! Gig whoring is not always a good idea and from now on I will choose gigs more carefully

My own gig at the george next

Long trip short trip Gigs34 &35

Gigs 34 and 35 were both going to be gong shows, one a long trip to Telford for Roger Swifts gong and
the other closer to home at Mr Bens. Telford should have been only 2.5 hrs drive but the rain
and flooding coupled with Friday traffic meant that my drive time was doubled, but at least i was able
 to drive this time and not have to sit on a coach for hours.I will only briefly cover the Roger Swift gong
as i have sad;y not had time to blog in as much detail as i would have liked.
The room was large and had been set up by Roger in an auditorium style with the acts asked to sit at
the back forcing the audience forward (a good idea) but the main problem with the room in my humble opinion
is that it is too light. Every other gong show i have done the audience are in dimly lit areas making 2
things happen, 1 they feel less concious about carding an act as the acts can clearly see them and 2 they are less self concious about laughing, but i don't wish to criticise as Roger seems like a really top guy he was very efficient giving us the info for the night and welcoming when we arrived. Acts that i knew who were there included Dave Tomlinson and Janie Huxx. Dave was second act of the night
 and he went about it with his usual casual delivery, but he performed a lot better tonight than the 1st 2 times i saw him, i could be wrong but maybe it was confidence? he beat the gong comfortably in the end with some slick jokes. Janie had done well both times i had seen her but again tonight she was on best form so far with a cheeky smile as she delivered each line, i'd say she nailed it. my own performance was way below what i would expect myself to deliver, i went on 12th of 14 and by then we all knew who the top 2 or 3 acts were or maybe had decided the winner and also the excellent Frankie Peoples as mc had struggled to read my name as he was introducing me which i allowed to set me back as i re introduced myself an error i wont make again.
 I beat the gong just about but it was a very poor performance lacking my usual energy and i felt pretty bad after the gig that i had allowed that to happen. I must mention Steven Dodd who won but was run very close by Tash Bartlett Who had a great hackler put down for the moron who though he would get a gong at a gong show!! that put down being as she is bi sexual when he heckled she said i like licking twats not talking to them!! awesome. Steve did a lot of Self depreciating one liners about his being a large guy and was very funny. i look forward to a better performance when i return to Telford in October.

35
Mr Bens again and why not it is after all my local gig. before i go on i must mention the gong show i watched about 2Weeks ago, on that night some excellent acts such as Jed Salisbury, Andy Woolston, Simon Gutherless, Jon Newell and Michael Sterrett but they were all blown away by a perfect performance from Thom Milson. Thom just nailed it, as good as i have ever seen at Mr Bens and the only time the clap off has been crystal clear at the 1st time of asking.
The relevance of this will be revealed shortly.

8 spots tonight were Adam Rushton and Ross Brieley who was joint winner with myself last time i did the gong. Adam coolly talked the audience though a great story of one-upmanship filled with little side jokes, he looked natural on stage and later told me he loves gigging so it was clear why he looked so at ease, it was a great set.  Ross went the new material route, he didn't have all the confidence in the material he normally has but it did not show as he just went out there and was
 Ross, funny, relaxed, engaging and sometimes a bit cringy (in a good way) he was brave to do full 8 mins new as given how packed the place was (at least 60 in maybe more) i had bottled doing new stuff and opted for tried and tested.
I was on 2nd tonight following Matt Forde who did well for his 3rd gig beating the gong with only a brief moment where he forgot a line but recovered it well. I decided to just go for it, to just hammer the audience with my stuff and hope they went with it, they did thankfully but i was lucky as a 4th red card was handed out just before i went on to a guy with a flashing t.shirt and a new line/joke popped in there to tr get him onside early, it worked and i was off. my set slowed towards the back end
 of the 5 but i could feel i had done ok. George Phillips followed me and although 3 red cards did go up it was missed and he survived which was good i guess as his best joke by some way was his closer. Casey Borgan (i hope i have the name right) went next and had some
 great lines doing his set about his trip to the gum clinic. Jon Newell was last before the break, to be honest he stood no chance as the audience were ready for the bar and toilet and no one was gonged yet, this was proven as the gong rang and we went to break

2nd section Mike Morris kicked it off with his set of lovely jokes and observations delivered with a nice pace to the set, he beat the gong too making now 5 in the final.
Thom Milson was next, he did pretty much the same set that he kicked ass with not long ago, but this time he was gonged??? this just proves further the subjective nature to what is perceived as funny from one person to the next. Thom is a great act as is Jon Newell yet they were not to the taste of tonight's audience despite their talent.
Daniel Carmichael was next, his set was story based and delivered with coolness one minute and then an almost geeky quirk the next which made the set not just funny but entertaining, through he went.
the penultimate act was the only act who's name i missed (sorry) but his clever opener and 2nd joke were brilliant and they alone could have been enough to see him through but as it was there was a great set for the whole 5.
Mark 'the legend' Hayden was the final act, i had discussed with other acts Marks commitment to his squirty materiel and filth laden style and everyone says they admire him for staying true to what he believes, i agree. that said tonight he was going clean(ish) and telling jokes with no squirty!! it did not suit him and the audience were just as confused by the out of the box thinking! bring back
 squirty pls Mr Hayden!!!
So that completed the gong show and after a very close clap off 2 acts were selected, Daniel Carmicheal and amazingly myself!!
it was very tight between us and i thought Daniel had done it but the superbly entertaining Sully heard a slight louder cheer for me apparently, it was a great feeling to win outright and to now have 2 Mr Bens gong show wins but i'm Sure Daniel was close enough for a draw.
That said i am very pleased to do well and i now see the value in confident delivery.

i'll enjoy my small moment and hopefully kick on from here.

Birmingham next as MC for band night!!

There was a gig, it was bad! gig 33

It’s 3 am i have just boarded a coach from Nottingham, there is an aroma in the air that can only come from a group of people crammed in a muggy coach. My head was heavy from the long journey and weary from the events that unfolded in Coventry. Thoughts turned to what i had said during my moment in spotlight, the way i dealt with my state of mind given the circumstances, and then i remembered i was introduced onto the stage with a round of a cheers!!!

Ok so i started that blog a little differently, to try give the night i just had a little more flavour but really i should have just said.

There was a gig, i was there, people went on stage, they said words, some of it was funny. Then there was a break, some people had left, some stayed, i went on, i said words, some of it was funny, it finished and everyone was told to fuck off, there was applause (ok there was no applause)
my plan was to call this blog trains busses and automobiles but it was too bad a gig not to alter this title.

Basically the night was very very flat, the MC and organiser clearly new to this and as a young lad perhaps a little shy? But he will learn and i’m sure turn it into a great night.

He will need to add a little more oomph to his MCing which did not have a lot of energy and didn’t uplift the audience nor did it make the acts feel welcome or valued, in fact he even forgot one acts name and made no effort to rectify this... who could get Martin Asty’s name wrong??? Sorry Hastie not Asty!!

He also said after Darren Harriot’s set that was not a set (more on that in a moment) that he should have had Darren on 1^st, an innocent comment but one that totally disregarded the 4 acts that preceded Darren.

The event was not helped by the pub in which it was held, it was an open plan pub that was not sectioned off for the comedy allowing people who were just popping in for a bit to eat to see, but even worse the speakers all round the pub were playing the gig in corners where you could not see it, so basically there were people eating while one act talked about anal sex farts.... nice!!! Of course if you are tucking into your prawn cocktail while that is playing out loud youre going to get a bit miffed!!

But the gig went ahead and although 1^st act Jay Handley was doing a great job it was immediately apparent this would be a difficult night, not least when diners not involved in the gig began heckling, and joy of joys it was a bloke from Leeds..... Moron doing the city proud!! Jay was up against it but i would say he is normally a good act from what i could gather.

Rob Kemp followed, Rob was at Hollybush when i was there and has a great gag about Zombies but he was the next victim of the nights surreal atmosphere. Undeterred by this Rob delivered his set nicely and was enjoyable to watch again.

Next was Ryan Clarke doing only his 2^nd gig, it was not a good night to be doing your 2^nd gig and Ryan admitted he was nervous but all was going ok until some complete dick heckled him vindictively. This put poor Ryan off his stride as it would have me if i was on my 2^nd gig, he struggled to re gain his composure and left the stage after another minute or two, i hope he bounces back quickly.

Martin Hastie followed, Martin (Martin Asty in a previous blog!!) has great jokes and dead pan delivery, his delivery was all that stopped him winning Mr Bens gong show but it is much better and more confident now, although tonights gig was summed up by a joke where the punchline is ‘hands up’  about 6 people actually missed the point and put their hands up!!!

Now we had all lost faith in this gig, not least by the fact there was little laughter at no fault of the acts, after each act an audience member left, and the MCing didn’t quite uplift the night to the level it will when he has more gigs under his belt so when Darren Harrison went on he had already decided this night was not worthy of his set, Darren is extremely confident, slightly opinionated almost cocky but these make him a great performer and as i don’t know him personally maybe this is just the way he comes across. I can say one thing for certain, he did exactly what the gig needed! He entered the stage and just began to say what we were all thinking, questioning the night, the room and the audience who clearly didn’t want to be there. Oddly this lifted the whole gig, he knew what he was doing and although he has a high status opinion on audiences it was perfect. That took us into the break nicely (although a few more audience members left)

There was some discussion about pulling the gig but i had travelled from Leeds by national express, train and car taking 16 hours as a round trip (cheapest way but never again!!)

So we agreed to go ahead and the 2^nd section saw the audience whittled down the handful that wanted to be there (within reason)

James Billington went 1^st in this section and also lifted the audience going round them all getting forced laughter before beginning his set, there is a great moment in his set that has you very uncomfortable for a moment until the punchline catches you by surprise. James did great.

Janie Huxx was next, i had to admire her for doing so well when the audience were probably a fair way off her target audience, they were all very young and her humour is too intelligent for them!

Janie was also in Cradley Heath when i was there and again i saw that she will do well in comedy with another casual confident performance.

Pat Draper went next, ever since i 1^st saw Pat gig i have enjoyed his stuff, my idea of comedy.

Today was no different although Pad stayed in 1^st gear and did a slightly shorter set than normal, even though its always a joy to watch him in action, another dead pan style that seems perfected over years.

I closed the show (if we can call it a show) so look out for headlined Litten Tree on my CV along with the fab audience quote at the end “well it got better” that will also appear on my posters (if i ever have any)

In seriousness i just practiced my set and worked on my audience banter, no idea how long i was up there as i forgot to start my watch timer but i did pretty much my full 8 mins (no pressure felt like at SYTYF) and ended the night before swiftly departing for my 2.45am coach back to Leeds!!!

Telford Gong next