Who wants racist pie

Having covered over 800 miles again last week I found myself in the not unfamiliar position of being sat still in the fast lane of the m1 waiting for the debris of yet another accident caused by some baffoon who seems incapable of driving safely.

I sat, snapchatting away my roadside pain, after having grovelled to a promoter that despite leaving the house at 2.15pm or 14.15 if you prefer... Or if you're one of those idiots 2.15pm in the afternoon, I would be late for my 8pm stage time.

I also spent some time thinking, should I just get a proper job? I mean what's wrong with maybe selling insurance or serving ice cream? Maybe I could go back to window cleaning, I mean you can't really die on your arse as a window cleaner can you? 

Sure you get heckled still, the classic "missed a bit" is so funny the 18th time you hear it each day. 

But I've never climbed down a ladder after giving some guttering a clean and though, yep, died on my arse there, started badly and the gutter just didn't go with me, just not my type of house and the gutter layout is not good for cleaning.

Maybe I could go back to being a chef, my pub days were so much fun, and at no point did I have someone come up to me after a shift and tell me which other chefs they like then give me a pie recipe that I could use... Who wants a racist pie anyway?

Perhaps I could try something new, I'm at the gym a lot these days (it only doesn't show because I don't post loads of gym updates and we all know your workout is invalid if you don't tell people) maybe I could become a PT?

How many PTs have told someone to do a press up and had them come up after and complain they thought it was not appropriate because their dad died of press ups.

Then the traffic cleared as if by magic, some traffic cop version of Moses just parted the carnage and boom I'm on my way again, got Slipknot playing because I love a loud car journey... It's either that or talk sport but who wants to listen to some idiot from Luton claim Arsenal are still in with a shout of winning the premier league and make nonsensical comments on why England should start have Ramsey in their squad (non football types may need to google why Aaron Ramsey can't play for England)

I then get my gig, I'm fired up, I have a good show, the audience are dead nice apart from that one guy who's dad died of press ups and I honestly can't see myself doing any other job ever!

This will take a lot more hard work but it's bound to be worth it... Because I think window cleaners, Chefs, PT's and anyone with regular jobs are so brave, doing that stuff every day must take some balls.

J x