My 4th gig as it would have been in was now my 5th after Saturdays last min entry to the Arc gong but this was more like the CSCDDC night in that it was an open mic comedy show so I had up to 10 mins to try my stuff. My experiences from Saturday had left me feeling no fear towards the audience anymore, if they don’t like me never mind I’ll just try be better and if they want to hurl abuse at someone who is simply trying to make them laugh it says more about them really….. But a new doubt had crept in, what if the other comedians think I’m a rubbish? They would never tell me as it may be considered rude, but I think I would rather be told, my feelings are not important at this stage so I need to know. All these thoughts had built up in my head on the drive to Newcastle, I just wanted to get there and go over my set and begin to relax, the thing is I arrived in Newcastle at rush hour missed my turning cos sat nav was having a nap and wound up stuck in city centre traffic for 35 mins trying to get back to where I should be.
I eventually got parked but I was worked up now, I walked through the sunshine to the Dog and Parrot pub which was hosting the long live comedy night but it’s a rock bar, kind of a biker joint, a little bit gothy maybe (I don’t think that’s a word) I was wearing white cotton shorts rolled up to the knees, a black vest and Toms…. Maybe I should not go in there as I’ll likely get my head kicked in!! stereotyping aside I just didn’t think I should go in yet, it was 6pm and the comedy night does not open til 9, so I went to the bar over the road (I did not see the rainbow flag flying proudly above the door) I got sat at a table and began to go over my materiel. I was still worked up slightly and as I read it I thought, god this is rubbish!! It was not remotely funny! I decided to totally re write, I’m sure that is never a good idea to re write just an few hours prior to going on but that’s what I did. As I was writing I sat inside, everyone else was outside but a bloke in hotpants and little else came over and asked why I was sitting inside and why I looked so stressed? I then realised where I was, could I make some kind of joke of this without sounding homophobic? I figured not, I told the bloke I needed the shade and to write, I figured it was better to say I was writing an essay for a course rather than comedy as he would like many others have possibly said, tell me a joke then, he 1st queried my accent, where are you from why you here ect then apologised for disturbing me offered me company with him and his friends if I wanted and went back outside. It was this little conversation that settled my mind a little, a simple distraction for a few seconds just giving me a little clarity and I knew how my set would go now.
I took some of my gong stuff about my grandparents and mixed it with an anecdote that I had twisted slightly to try and make it materiel and put a few asides in. With the re write sinking in I felt ready and I went over to the Dog and Parrot to get changed (I would not gig in shorts and toms, I brought jeans, boots and a shirt to go over the vest) when I changed I went up stairs to the room where the comedy is held and saw the stage. It was a nice set up, a good room with a chilled atmosphere. The guy running the night was a Greek chap called George, he was nice but talks very fast and as I had nerves I didn’t take in everything he said! My fault not his but it did no damage.
The gig itself was a lot smaller than Saturday, more my thing at the moment. There were only 12 ‘Neutrals’ in the audience and about another 8 or so who had come with an act plus the 6 acts. George warmed them up with banter and jokes and then explained the ‘newness’ of everyone bar the last act who was a pro with Telly experience just trying new stuff. I was due on 3rd but given the way the night was broken up I was 1st in section 2 of 3, up 1st was a guy from Middlesbrough doing his last gig before moving to Spain, he has been around for 2 years (i think he said 2 years, i cant recall now!) but was putting comedy on hold while he goes to do TEFL in Seville, his high energy fast paced set was a great start to the show, I liked him, his set not the funniest but the way he delivered it meant it didn’t need to be as the joke was essentially always on him, a good start. Up next a guy from Newcastle doing his 1st ever gig, he seemed at ease with it and started singing a pop song chorus before ending it with a great punch line. He went on to talk about living with students despite being 36 as his girlfriend had left him, he did well.
A short break then me, I had lost the nerves and just started to talk at the audience, I will try not to review myself as it could never be impartial and I need to remain firmly aware I am not a good comedian yet, but I was happy, a few jokes landed and got a laugh, a few did not and left a few awkward silences, I noted which ones failed and will see how they go on other nights before possibly dropping them from the set. I did 8 mins of my allotted 10 but was running out of rehearsed stuff so I thanked the audience and departed to a warm applause, they were supportive.
I stayed and watched the next 3 acts and the headline, 2 with experience trying new stuff, one from Leicester who lives in the North East now did 6 mins on how he has re named some alcoholic drinks, it was very clever and very funny. The Next from London (it wasn’t clear if he travelled just for tonight but I assumed not) he was also trying new stuff based on him becoming an advert writer, it involved posters with clever wordplay, some brilliant other not so but mostly it was good. Next on was another 1st time act, he was also from Newcastle, he only did 3 mins and was just building confidence really, he had a couple of jokes and did well. The final act or nights headline has just done TV work, I will break my own rule of not mentioning acts names as it is mainly to prevent me from offending anyone. Kai Humphries was up last, he has just filmed comedy store due to be screened in the next few months. Here he was trying new stuff, he talked about legal drugs, alcohol and illegal drugs, that makes his set sound like a junkie based rant but it was far more clever than that and more importantly was funny. He was excellent. Another gig down for me and another experience added. I chatted with a few of the other acts before leaving, I was fishing for a mini review but no one came forward as everyone wanted to discuss Kai’s set, but I did leave with some contacts for more stage time and that buzz I seem to be getting from every show. Back to gong action next with the Nottingham Maze… in Nottingham!
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