Antisocial Media

It's been an odd week on the ol social media, or given how often my face is stuck in it rather than communicating with the live humans near me I prefer antisocial media.

It's been odd since some people killed some other people and lots of people had opinions about the people who perpetrated the killings. There have been tricolore facebook profiles, images of dogs being donated by the Russians to France, (perhaps a little easier to send a dog to France safely than it is to the moon) there have been proclamations from sanctimonious attention seekers about deleting bigots, bigoted posts from moronic half wits and the odd hint of weary sarcasm and frustration from people who just want to know who's shagging who and what funny cat meme is next.

As a person who claims to be a comedian, a rather bold claim but one that makes me happy, I oughta look at these posts and take a light hearted view, perhaps quip about how unsurprising the grammar errors are in a lazy opinioned post about how we should bomb Syria, or maybe a more considered way of looking at the uber left opinion its all our own fault that baddies with weapons are shooting us.

In truth I'm tired, social media is draining, its like being in a room with every type of person and they are all shouting as loud as they can, you kind of agree with some but when you comment thus someone you respect kicks off because you don't agree with them and in the end you just want to tell a dick joke and leave quickly before anyone thinks you want to buy Ray Bans from an atractive heavily tattooed young girl.

I really think I might enjoy a world where social media is limited to an hour a day or something, I presently log on hourly for the fear of missing out on a gig only to find myself weeping uncontrollably at the image of a 4 year old Syrian girl surrendering at a camera she thought was a gun. The moment I saw that photo it reminded me of being a young boy in the 80's crying because of a video I saw or Roger Whittaker documenting poachers attacking Elephants. No social media back then, still found a way to feel pathetic, its a big cruel world.

I thought for about 5 minutes back then that I would change the aforementioned cruel world but then a moment later the ice cream van came round and my priorities changed.
Putting things in perspective is all well and good but how long does perspective last? you feel humble for about 3 minutes then you hear that Man United have scored with an injury time og and your anger turns to Watford's defending, I mean really, Troy Deaney back there?? really Watford??
N.B I have nothing against Man but I had them to draw in my accy

Social media does not allow perspective, it just has everyone's thoughts puked out into a feed of pointless information sapping our time and ability to freely think without justification from peers or to have an alternate opinion without being attacked. Or maybe I am wrong, and even though some bell end will require you to share a picture of a girl with ham on her face in 4 seconds or a dog in Honolulu gets eye cancer or some needy blogger *coughs loudly* shows a picture of an everday event and claims you will not believe what happens next only for that to be an even more everyday event but with some lame moral plot crowbarred in.

The annoying thing here is, something terrible took place in Paris last week, and it opened my eyes to all the terrible things that happen everyday, people can literally die a million different ways, seriously I heard of one guy who jumped into a window on the 57th floor of a building to prove its integrity only to smash through and fall to his death... seriously people can die in all kinds of manners, so lets all stop killing each other, stop using killings to hate each other, stop using differences and religions to hate and for the love of god (if you believe in him) stop posting about how you have all the answers to these world issues on social media, I want to write some jokes instead of hide from my laptop in a cupboard.

I am not sure what the hell I have just written, but too late now I have posted it and you have read it, next week I think i will write about my weekend away with the family, just an ordinary trip, but what happens next will leave you speechless

J