Monday 18 January 2016

I got fired!

So.... I had a dayjob that I really quite liked until Friday just gone, I don't have a dayjob anymore!!

It's only the 2nd time in my life I've been fired, I've walked away from a couple of jobs, in fact I once took a job that I didn't fancy just to keep my dad happy and on the 1st day he gave me a lift to work.

I got out the car and walked up to the door and as dad pulled away I turned and went to McDonald's for a brew and then walked home (he would have been at work).... I had to do that for 5 weeks before I eventually found a job I liked and pretended to move offices!!

So yeah that makes me a little unemployable it seems... Actually the other job I was fired from would make me unemployable as I was involved in the pouring of 3 litres of vodka into the slushy machine to get drunk on vodka slushies after work, only to then forget we'd done that leave for the day without cleaning the machine down and causing several children to have hangovers on the Monday (yeah don't call the cops this may have been embellished!)

Thing is that's not my normal working attitude, I work hard, I usually have little to say and just crack on with my job, this most recent job I worked harder than usual despite being knackered from returning home from gigs at 3am or having to be up early 4 mornings a week for the gym.

I worked as hard as possible with not a single day sick leave in the 15 months I was there but.... My bleedin phone, I keep that thing too close and anyone who knows how desperately hard it is to get gigs without pouncing on them within seconds knows that having half an eye on that bastard Facebook comedy bastarding forum!!

Also now I'm podcasting I have been listening to a few podcasts so while I was working away in the warehouse; a warehouse that I single handedly organised from a confused mess to a work of warehouse art, warehouse porn even!! (Yeah I'm taking that too seriously)
I'd have my podcasts running all day, thing is a colleague was not a fan of me doing this and said colleague went to the management to report my naughty naughty podcast and occasional email  addiction..... And boom the Alan Sugar finger was pointed at me and I was whisked off in a black cab to appear on radio 1... Well ok I walked off to the train station and today appeared on Lancashire tv but it's just as glamorous!

So that's it, fired in the least rock and roll way and I can't even get decent material from it.... Although I will bloody try, and while I'm gutted to be kicked into touch and feel kinda embarrassed to hear people passing on the message I got fired!, and for it to be so out of the blue like this was a shock but...it does kind of put my so called comedy career back in my own hands, I have no excuses now I guess (is being shit at comedy an excuse?)

From this point I guess I should drag myself out of bed as normal, hit the gym as I would do and then treat writing etc as my job between the 9 and 5... Let's see how long that shit lasts.

J x

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