Thing is I actually laughed myself awake and then sat for 15 minutes trying to figure out if the joke was funny enough to write down, I then became distracted, possibly the dog decided to clamber on top of me as he does when I have nodded off on the sofa during the day, he thinks it's funny I laughed myself awake despite the fact he often farts himself awake!!
Maybe my phone went or I decided to check Facebook or something mundane I don't know but I immediately forgot the joke, it was a play on the word Liverpudlian, an insult, to someone not from Liverpool but who was really into the Beatles (not even a wool or whatever scousers call them I've no idea)
This big fat unit of a guy, like huge and hairy and lacking any personal hygiene standards (that's polite speak for he smelt like he's been dead a week. I'm not saying this has anything to do with home being large or hairy it's just this individuals issue please don't write to Anne Robinson, not that the staple faced grinch can do anything!!)
It did make me realise I need a dictaphone, there is probably some kind of app that acts as one I imagine and I need to talk to myself.
Well I need to talk to future me, I need to tell future me what the joke or idea that past me thought of in full was; this way I can develop the idea better rather than looking at the notes as I think I mentioned in a previous blog they barely make sense anyway yet still the other day I wrote this note.
"Went to stroke benji but he's a kid not a dog"
What the actual fuckedy duck does my brain do when the conscious switches off.
I've tried recently to write things that I believe in more rather than just jokes or finger as a verb related stories!
Maybe my subconscious is telling me to make a point through stand up?
I wrote recently about why Making a Murderers Steven Avery is a genius and is blatantly the guy who killed Theresa Halbach, he planned it all spent 18 years in jail and then got a documentary team to follow him about so he could get away with it or at least get a public pardon, yeah there were more jokes than what I posted here but I was howling at myself, I was being unreasonable and then justifying my unreasonable point or at least making something that makes no sense have a sense of some kind, because... It's just jokes innit (no idea why the innit is there)
I fucking loved it, it was somewhat Inbetween Bill Burr and Daniel Sloss only without their talent, fuck it I can be a shit Burr or Sloss, or a Bloss as I'm going to now call it.
When I write in Bloss mode there will be all those opinions I have opted not to share because I don't want to argue with anyone or upset anyone, you can all have your opinions and mine could be wrong just as yours could be but fuck it if I can make mine funny I win give me my prize!!
I think it's fair to say I've never really won an opinion off, I've no idea what happens when you do but given how much bellendry goes on when an opinionated tool feels challenged I can only assume the rewards are great?
Maybe you get your naughty bits kissed by the person of your dreams.... Although if this were the case, for me it would be a large hairy smelly Beatles fan who I've just insulted hilariously and then completely forgotten how!
The stage is a good place for opinions, but to be honest, audiences don't come to comedy looking to be taught or preached to, they don't come expecting to learn a moral lesson, hear some rant about the government, the illuminati, wars are bad or ukip are thick....
We get it...
They are stupid!!
Stop pointing it out like a sanctimonious smug prick, we know Donald Trump is not just a moron he's the fucking King or moronia!!
YOU'RE NOT STEWART LEE!!
Just make us fucking laugh!
Sure we know the differences between men and women and I don't want to know about that time you had self love or thought your uncle was a 70's bbc DJ
But tell me about when you shit yourself on the train if you want, observe stuff that happens every day but from a different perspective if you need it's all good... Yes I went all ranty but I'm hopping back on the funny is funny slide and I'm happy to slip down it and laugh at comics who aren't teaching us anything until snot runs down my face and I make that froggy sound when I laugh!
(Like an actual frog, I wasn't being racist about anyone , although having to mention that suggests maybe I am, I will address that with myself)
I rather suspect a number of audiences also go just to switch off and laugh too, so write what's funny... I'm not even sure if I'm talking to you or myself now... It's been a long week!
J x
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