I wound up without a gig which allowed me to join in much sooner with the drinking, in a previous blog I had mentioned whisky and so my tiny feeble man brain was lusting for this with amateur enthusiasm the kind of which sees many a Brit crawling along a puke pee and glass coated kerb in a deshevelled state while still convinced they can dance or pull or both!!!
The thing is I had like many a comedy flavoured person does, been hoping for something to happen, something I could look back on and embellish to the point of uber hilarity although in reality just get a mildly amusing anecdote to which I add 3 knob gags and classic Jim lean forth as I relay the story to a bemused audience of 6 punters 4 bar staff and 5 other acts all staring at their phone because they've seen me before.
I have been very much the dull boy of late , sure after gigs I sneak in a drink now and then, usually it's a water with ice and I've tried the diet water with full fat ice joke on a few nonplussed bar staff while at it, it takes away the embarrassment of ordering a drink that's nearly always free and instead replaces it with embarrassment at my dad joke.
Aside from that my social life has involved 4 visits to the gym a week, that's not even a brag, no one likes a gym prick, I'm a Jim Gym prick, if only I liked preserves, I'd be a Jim jam gym prick (I'll stop now) it's involved 2 games of football a week, one day a week writing (usually just some half assed blog!) and 2 or 3 nights a week gigging along with 5 days at the day job, cramming in time to walk the dog and the odd date here and there (well coffee in McDonald's seems to count so I'll take that!)
Basically I'm too busy to have any crazy shit happen to me that would make great comedy.... Which of course means I either have to up my game and do more crazy shit or actually sit back and realise that I, like anyone on this silly little planet can write creatively if I just allow myself too.
There's no need to wait for crazy adventures to happen, sure when they do that's awesome but in reality what makes a comic good is putting in the miles writing because if any other act is like me they need to write 4 hours worth of stuff to get 20 mins they are happy with.... And when I say happy with I mean not happy with but it will do for now, writing is the dirty bit, the hard part that takes time, takes patience and ah fuck it lets just nick some jokes offof sickepedia because no one seems to be saying much to the 4 zillion (slight exaggeration) acts that are doing that.... No seriously don't nick jokes and actually in a car share recently an act pointed out that when you write a joke it's worth googling the premise and the joke to see if it's out there already as it might just save you some pointy pointy fingy.... Although there seems to be little of that at the moment
So my tender state, created by the thrashing handed out to me by Real Madrid's drinking team allowed me an opportunity to get a bit more writing in, maybe I should just get blasted every weekend and write my way to recovery... Who knows maybe one night I'll get my head kicked in by an 8ft baby on a stag do, or fall in a river and be rescued by a bloke who looks like Jack from titanic, or maybe I'll get arrested for (this one did happen) picking up a discarded hard hat putting it on and standing next to a policeman keeping patrol of the taxi rank singing YMCA.... Whatever happens putting pen to paper each week is the bit where the real comedians will rise up above those gifted actors .... I hope
J x
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